Resolutions evolving into “bucket list”

…Good movie by the way!

Anywho, as I continue to tack on goals to obtain throughout the year 2011, I begin to realize that my resolutions are developing into a bucket list.  My goals that I’m trying to reach in one year, people try to accomplish over a span of their life time.  Now, I’m not saying all my bullets will be completed fully by the end of this year, but they will have been dabbled into or at least looked at and considered for launch.

The list started off with things I NEED to get done to make my life run smoothly.  Once I noticed the great sense of accomplishment, I was hooked! I wanted more!!  This whole process of accomplishing this list and being addicted to getting things done, is definitely helping me work on “me”.  That works in conjunction with the soul reason why I began blogging. I started so I have record of my thought process and I can refer back to and use it later on in my life.

It is funny how things in life come around full circle and everything is connected to everything.

It’s not everyone’s cup of tea!

Events of last night inspired this blog and sparked the inspiration to make a vow with myself…

One moment I was cool, calm, and collected and next thing I knew, I was flashing back to my Army wife years.  The days that most of us don’t talk about played over in my head like old silent movie reels.  I’m not talking about the home comings or even the separation of the deployments; I’m talking about the integration and readjustment to living with one another after a Soldier returns from war.  I write this from my very own personal experience and mine alone.

As I listen to the advice that is mutually agreed upon between an experienced friend herself and I and then shared with another individual to assist in her situation, something clicked.  I was her once myself.  Not knowing how to handle situations when they start to get out of hand.  Not knowing how to deal with a combat trained man who is feet away from you and you have no form of protection.  Hell, not even knowing that a trigger has been set off!  I remember being in those very same situations time and time again.  Every day couple arguments and being in large groups of people were just the tiniest of things that triggered an impulse in the man that I loved.  And like a switch, he turned.  I sat there tonight staring off into the distance pondering, if I had only saw the signs…if I only walked away and let him cool down….if I only knew how to help him, I would have not made his super charged combat ready mood do what he did to me.  Now I sit here wondering if I would have known how to spot the signs leading up to an outburst or how to just walk away and not take it so personally, would he have not put his hands on me?  Would I still be married?  Was I partially responsible for our marriage not working out?

In a downward spiral, my thoughts went.  Emotions surfaced and guilt settled heavy in the pit of my stomach.  Then, these thoughts and feelings triggered another chain of doubting thoughts.  Should I date other military men? Am I ready to take that on; ready to face that beast once more? Could I handle it again? Will it send me through an emotional roller coaster? Can I, should I, will I?

After a long discussion and many tears, I have decided that I need to make a vow.  I vowel that if I am truly serious about tempting to date within the military again, I will educate and prepare myself with all the best resources possible.  I will know what to expect when they deploy as far as attitudes and such, I will know what to expect when the reintegration process begins, I will know how to handle situations like thunderstorms setting off flash backs or large crowds agitating his last nerve.  I swear to myself I will take class after class so I am fully equipped with the arsenal of life experience and learned material about what it takes to be there for a loved one.  I have a better understanding of what it means and what it takes to be with a military man.

Aspiring Dating Specialist

When we are young, we dream about being teachers and doctors, artists and world travelers.  As I sit here at the young age of 24, accomplished in my design and marketing profession, I ponder, “what if we saw dating as a profession”?

What if we dedicated time and education into dating and relationships like we do our professions.  Like music, love is universal.  No matter what language we speak, how much money we make, where we came from, we are aspire to find love.  If this is such a large goal that we all aim for, why don’t we educate ourselves to be better at what we want?  I know there are self help books and seminars to be of assistance.  My curiosity has me thinking about taking a moment in my life and dedicate all of me to understanding dating and relationships better.

2011 update

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged but this year thus far has been extremely busy. It’s not so much the year as it is my resolutions. They are monumental accomplishments that I will overtake and make me feel like I’ve succeeded this year.

It hasn’t even been a month in yet and I have removed two stressers out of my life, started dating a wonderful man, and is on the verge of a career change. Would it be an understatement to say that things are changing this year? Yes it would be!! I don’t know if this success will last long but at the time being, I am enjoying the ride and feeling quite pleased with myself!